Don't Seize My Vital Region!
by Five Tailed Demon Dog
Summary: The world figures out that Canada has never had his 'vital regions' officially invaded. Chaos breaks out, and Matthew only wishes to return to invisibility... America x Canada, World x Canada, revised DSMVR version, other will be taken down


Disclaimer: I own nothing

Summary: In which the world figures out that Canada has never had his 'vital regions' officially invaded. Chaos breaks out, and Matthew only wishes to return to invisibility...

_Canada x America, Canada x World_

Rated: T for now, will probably move to M later

_Matthieu _= French equivalent for Matthew

_Matthias _= Nordic/Dutch equivalent

_Matvey = _Russian equivalent

* * *

_Ottawa, Canada_

Canada, or more intimately known as Matthew Williams (though hardly anyone could remember his nation, let alone his human name) sighed as he slumped down to the floor of his house. He wasn't so sure why he was feeling so depressed all of the sudden, the UN meeting went as it usually did.

America spouted some nonsense about placing remote-controlled robot-heroes in Iraq and somehow ended off on a tangent about hamburgers and fast food. Britain shouted, while the rest of the world pretty much ignored the two.

The meeting had gotten out of hand, and America, oh-so-nicely, had decided to play his little game of _'Blame Canada.' _

Matthew honestly didn't want to think of the rest of the day...

He slumped down even more, pulling his polar bear friend closer to his chest, ignoring the usual mutter of _'who?' _and just closed his blue-violet eyes tiredly.

Really, what was the point of even going to the UN meetings anymore? He was all-out ignored most of the time, and in the small percentage that he wasn't ignored, it was usually because someone was mistaking him for America.

Kumajirou simply wiggled himself closer, huddling up into his master's red pullover. He could feel his master-friend's sadness, and tried to cheer him up as much as possible. Canada gave a small, almost watery smile at nothing when he felt Kumajirou's tongue lightly licking at his face.

He finally stood up, giving the snowy-white bear a hug, before looking down at him, the small smile still on his pale face. "Want me to make some pancakes?" He asked, though already knowing the answer. Kumajirou simply nodded, his large paw batting at Matthew's jean-clad legs gently and playfully.

"Syrup." The polar bear muttered softly, though Canada heard it loud and clear. His small smile widened, repressing all memories of the day as he thought of drowning himself in his oh-so good maple syrup.

"Yeah, with lot's of maple syrup."

* * *

Kumajirou quietly licked his syrup-soaked paws clean, comfy in his position. His furry white ears perked as his master-friend finally fell asleep, snoring softly. Not long after Matthew fell asleep, his hand grasped the bear's thick fur, squeezing tightly.

Kumajirou watched silently with his black eyes as Matthew scrunched up his face, as if he were in a silent pain. "I'm _Canada_." Matthew stated in his sleep, "_Canada. _Not _America_."

The white polar bear cub watched silently for a few more minutes, before an idea hit him full on. He slowly wiggled himself out of his master-friend's grip – not even flinching as Canada pulled out a few, thick hairs of his furry coat. He simply had enough of seeing his Canada's pain of being ignored and ignored over and over again. And the worse pain of being mistaken for _America_ even more.

The polar bear quietly slipped out of Canada's house, easily trudging through the thick and cold snow, pretty much camouflaged from the world's sight. The pen, envelope, a photograph, and paper were clutched firmly within his mouth, held by his sharp fangs. The white bear finally reached the mailbox, and roughly sat down on his bottom.

Kumajirou placed the paper down, still holding the pen in his mouth, and got to work fast before the paper became too soggy from the cold snow. It was somewhat difficult to write what he wanted (without any opposable thumbs), but a little while later, he was finished.

The snow bear stood on his hind legs, and shoved the enveloped paper and photo into the mailbox (hopefully it would get to the UN building in New York before Matthew did). Kumajirou then simply walked down to Canada's home, knowing that his master-friend would be up by now as it was morning.

The bear squeezed himself through the rather-large cat-flap, shaking himself free of any clinging cold snow that was still sitting on his chilled fur. The snow melted quickly, but Kumajirou ignored as he was picked up by gentle hands.

"Where were you, Kumajirou?" Canada asked softly, smiling a bit when the bear gave his usual greeting of _'who?' _

"Ah well," Matthew knew he probably wasn't going to get an answer. "Want some more pancakes?" He asked brightly, the bear nodded his head once more.

And as Matthew and Kumajirou ate the pancakes and maple syrup, Canada could not help but wonder if there was a smirk on Kumajirou's white furry face...

* * *

_UN Headquarters – NYC, New York, USA_

"Holy ~ shit..." America, Alfred F. Jones, could only mutter, his jaw dropped slightly open. His blue eyes were wide behind Texas as he stared at what could only be called a '_Map-of-Canada.' _

Arthur Kirkland, Britain, could only nod beside America, his green eyes were pinned on the large _'Map-of-Canada' _that seemed to be hung up in the UN's meeting room for Nations. There was a dead silence within the room, no one else could really even add to Alfred's 'nice' statement.

No one would be forgetting Canada anytime soon... that was for sure.

"Ah, my _Matthieu _is simply _très beau!_" A lightly accented voice broke the deafening silence, America and Britain glared for completely different reasons at the Frenchman (Arthur – because he didn't want to hear any perverted comments so early in the morning, and Alfred – because this was his invisible, but not so invisible-now, _'baby brother'..._)

The second silence is broken by a loud, curious-sounding (and annoying, to some) voice, a finger pointing towards the large _'Map-of-Canada.' _"Ve~ who's that? Who's Canada?" N. Italy asked, like a small child, grasping at Germany's sleeve and tugging.

Germany shut his slightly open mouth, shook the image of _'Canada's-Map' _out of his mind, forcibly suppressing his light flush. He didn't even bother to answer Feliciano – only really remembering Canada as the _'guy-who-claimed-he-wasn't-America.' _

The third silence was broken by hushed whispers, nations were now looking very interested in the _'Map-of-Canada.' _

Alfred growled when Francis seemed to be lovingly caressing the large poster of Matthew, ripping France's hand away from the _'map.' _

America turned to the now-interested nations, his blue eyes flashed in a slight jealousy. He did not like this one development one bit. He was actually (secretly) kinda glad that Canada was ignored by everyone else (so he could have him all to himself... _but that was so not the reason_...!).

Alfred eyed Belgium and Ukraine as they quietly whispered to each other, pointing towards the _'map' _and giggling all high-pitched and girlish-like, their cheeks were painted pink.

America then snapped out, "I'm going to make this clear!" His loud voice immediately drowned out the loud whispers, the other nations snapped their mouths shut at America's apparent anger. "Matthew is mine because Canada is on top of America and because Alaska is in Canada." Alfred stated knowingly with a large arrogant smirk – the other nations seemed to grumble back and snap, obviously not taking that for a real answer.

"Ah, but Comrade-Alfred ~ Alaska used to belong to Russia, so we live in him, da?" Russia stated with his childish-but-freaky-looking smile, his purple-ice-like eyes looking alarmingly interested in the _'map' _of Matthew. "And we both share our love for ice hockey, da?"

Alfred growled again, and looked around for Arthur's help – and grew annoyed when Britain seemed to simply stare up at the _'Map of Canada' _with wide green eyes, muttering under his breath that _'this was his precious little boy?' _

Another voice spoke loudly, and everyone turned around to see an arrogant smirk on Holland. "At least I never forget who _Matthias_ is. And besides, we're close friends. He liberated me during _WWII_ and we celebrate the _Canadian Tulip Festival_ annually."

Germany seemed to flinch slightly at Holland's mention of the _Nazi_ occupation of Holland during _WWII_, but didn't show any other emotion otherwise.

England turned around, his green eyes narrowed. "He used to be my colony for many years, and we're still in the same _Commonwealth_ together!" Arthur stated firmly, ignoring America's glare.

"I'm Canada's biggest trading partner!" America snarled, getting right into Britain's face. Arthur was not intimidated by the least, and only simply glared back.

"I'm his father!" Arthur snarled back, though he certainly wasn't feeling any _fatherly _feelings at the moment.

"Yeah well, I'm his _twin brother_!" Alfred smirked, blue eyes flashing. He was sure that the world had already accepted that Canada was practically _his_ – but not yet obviously, not if this was the reaction to a simple _'Map-of-Canada.' _

"_Mon chéri, _but I am _Matthieu's _papa ~ I am the one who first found him!" France boasted arrogantly, still staring at the map with intent, adoring blue eyes.

"Not true," A somewhat quiet and apathetic voice interrupted Francis, and everyone turned to look at a white-haired boy. "I had found Canada and seen _Matthias _long before you did." Iceland directed this to France – who merely upturned his nose in an arrogant fashion.

"Ah ~ but you did not stay with Canada as I did." France retorted back, snorting. Really, out of all the nations, he really had the most rights to _Matthieu_.

"We're best friends." A rough voice cut through the arguing, everyone looked towards the dark-skinned male, who was casually smoking a cigar. Cuba didn't even bother to state more, as if his previous statement was strong enough on its own.

"Yeah," America snorted with disbelief, glaring harshly towards the Cuban. "You only mistake him for _me _every time you see him!" The Cuban glared back at Alfred, but did flinch slightly at comment (which was, unfortunately for him, true).

"_Matvey _was the first to recognise me as an independent state." A slightly timid female stated. Katyusha, Ukraine, could no longer look at the _'Map-of-Canada' _without her face exploding with embarrassment.

"Same here." Lithuania nodded, having turned his eyes away from the _'map,' _though a light red tint remained on his face.

"Canada had taken back _Passchendaele _for me in _WWI_." Belgium stated from her place beside Ukraine, her eyes trained intently on the _'map.' _

Germany winced again.

"So?" Alfred snorted, crossing his arms, "We have _NORAD_." He argued, getting angry at all the sudden claims for Canada. He so was going to beat up whoever posted the _'Map of Canada' _up, this was just ridiculous!

"We're good friends ~ da-ze!" S. Korea piped up, though winced as he was kicked in the shin by Japan – who seemed to be taking pictures (along with Hungary) of the _'Map of Canada.' _

"We're _twin brothers!_" Alfred roared over the mutter, as if his statement was enough to shut everyone up. Only for another (annoying – to Alfred at least) voice to speak up.

"_Canada has never 'officially' had his vital regions invaded...'"_ Prussia read off a little note with some difficulty (the paper was wet and the wording looked as if a child wrote it, the smudged paw-prints over the words didn't help either). The white-haired non-nation smirked as a strange glint reflected in his red eyes. "Then I'll show him my awesomeness and my five-metres!"

All the nations were shocked, some even slack-jawed.

Matthew Williams, Canada, was actually a virgin?!

Arthur quickly turned to Alfred to confirm it. "B-but... I thought-- during 1812?!" He demanded, Alfred only shrugged.

"Naw, you and Mattie fought me off before I could." America stated, though a strange smile appeared on his face. "Matthew is mine!" He stated again for good measure.

All the nations turned their heads as the door opened, the object of their sudden interest came running in, face flushed and he was panting, holding Kumajirou like a life-line. He didn't seem to notice the _'Map of Canada' _at all.

"I'm sorry I'm late!" Matthew panted, but immediately froze when everyone actually responded to his presence without the _'who's?' _

He grew slightly uncomfortable when they all seemed to be leering at him, and took a step back. "Err – hi?" He stuttered, and all hell seemed to break loose.

Kumajirou simply smirked under his white thick fur...

* * *

The first chapter will be the same, but it'll be different from here on out -- the other version will be taken down shortly


End file.
